Incomplete
by RocketVeteran
Summary: ONE-SHOT. Mars adores Cyrus, but she knows that he could never love her in return. Unless she found a way to become complete. One-sided BetelgeuseShipping, but not romance...


**DISCLAIMER:** Pokémon, its world and its characters belong to Nintendo. This is just a non-profit piece of fun from a fan.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is the second fic in which I play around with the legendary abilities of the Sinnoh lake trio – can you tell I'm a little obsessed? Hehe. This one is based in Pokémon Platinum, too, but it's **slightly non-canon **as Mars knows things that she probably doesn't know in the game. But I hope you like it, anyway.

**WARNINGS: **Depending on how sensitive you are, you might find this a little dark and creepy. There are also hints at violence, but no _actual_ violence. Also, it is a **one-shot**, so what you see is what you get :)

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'Look not into the Pokémon's eyes. In but an instant, you'll have no recollection of who you are. Return home? But how, when there is nothing to remember?  
Dare not touch the Pokémon's body. In but three short days, all emotions will drain away.  
Above all, above all, harm not the Pokémon. In a scant five days, the offender will grow immobile in entirety.'

- _A Horrific Myth_ (found in Canalave Library in _PKMN Platinum_)

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_**Incomplete**  
_

Before I joined Team Galactic, I never really knew what passion felt like. I always imagined that it was something hot and fiery, something that burned its holder to the core – not unlike hatred, but then again, I never really experienced that either. How ironic that I only discovered love and hate when I stepped into the presence of someone who wants to do away with both.

I believed from the start that it was Cyrus's destiny to become a god, long before I had any real inklings about his plan to achieve it. I can't explain how or why. Depending on the circumstances and the company, he can either be irresistibly charming or endearingly awkward, but in either case, people listen when he talks. Before I met him, I rarely listened to anyone except myself. Now I cling to his every word, and I find my fingers burning to write it all down like a text that's too sacred to be forgotten.

I lie awake at night – right here, in our headquarters – and I despair until it feels like I'm losing my mind. I despair because I can't quite remember what Cyrus said to me this morning, and because I blushed at his subtle nod of acknowledgement before I set off with my squadron to Lake Verity. I despair because I'm under the same roof as someone whom I know I can never have. But most of all, I despair because I know he hates me along with the rest of the world, because of what I am.

I'm incomplete.

When he talks so dismissively about sentimentality, I feel like he's brushing me aside like a speck of dust. When he narrows his eyes at an involuntary flicker of emotion from someone else, I feel like I'm the one shivering under his glare. Because I know that, no matter how much I want to stand above everyone else in his eyes, I'm no better than the rest, really.

But at least I've learned what passion feels like. It does burn, but not like fire. If you've ever watched the sunrise over Lake Acuity, you'll know that ice can smoulder as well. And that's what passion is like. It paralyses you, freezes your senses, and the whole world slows to a painful halt.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a Grunt, you know, just so that I could crawl blindly through dirt and rain and put myself in danger of arrest – or worse – on errands that I didn't even understand myself. But I'm supposed to be a Commander. I'm supposed to have a bit more dignity and self-respect. I didn't get to this position by admitting that I'm a slave to my emotions. Even if he knew that all of those feelings were for _him _and nobody else, Cyrus still wouldn't tolerate so much weakness in someone so close to him.

I'm not as close to him as I'd like to be, and that's part of the problem. I don't have the right to make wishes like these, but I can't help myself. That's why I'm glad that things are coming to an end very soon. If I had to carry on for much longer, I would end up pouring my heart out and ruining everything. I mentioned that I've discovered hatred. I hate these _feelings_. Even my body is threatening to betray me. I can feel my muscles twitching as I stop myself from throwing myself at his feet in tearful, shuddering devotion. A shameless display like that would almost certainly get me kicked out of Team Galactic – at the very least! – but I don't think I can hide what I feel.

But the answer's right in front of me, here in this very building. I only wish I'd thought of it sooner. Cyrus once said that he would achieve everything through Team Galactic. And now, so will I. I'm not tossing and turning tonight. I'm not even in bed, and I don't intend to sleep.

Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf are ours. Cyrus needed them for their crystals so that he could create the Red Chain. That was why he sent us to the lakes to capture them. But the Red Chain has already been made, and yet those three cosmic nuisances are still languishing in the laboratory downstairs. Why? What else could they possibly do for us?

I hate them. It's all their fault. It's because of them that I'm feeling like this. It's because of them that Cyrus detests this world so much, and the resulting rage has caused him years of needless turmoil. If you ask me, he's just waiting for someone to do what _I'm_ about to do. That's why I'm walking to the lab right now with a battered copy of _A Horrific Myth_ in one hand and a gun in the other.

Forget about the gun. Let's talk about the book. I've had it for a few days now, read it from cover to cover – it's only short – and it fascinates me. Think about it. The whole concept of 'spirit', everything that's so _wrong_ with this world, is all down to three pathetic Pokémon. Legendary or not, they're still just Pokémon, and we fished them out of their little hiding places at the lakes as if they were nothing more than Magikarp. And whatever strength they might have had, I doubt there's much of it left now that the scientists have done their work.

But that's just fine. As long as those three Pokémon can do what the myth _says _they can do, my plan will work. Look into Uxie's eyes, it says, and there goes your memory. Touch Mesprit, and all of those bothersome emotions will fade away in just a few days. I already did, at Lake Verity, but I'm not wearing any gloves this time. And as for Azelf, well, all you have to do is hurt it somehow, and you can kiss goodbye to your willpower in less than a week. I've already got my finger on the trigger. As soon as I get to the lab, I'm pulling it. And if a gun doesn't do the trick, I'll find another way. Even if I have to use my bare hands, I'll find a way.

I know what you're thinking, because I've already heard it from Saturn. _Mars, you're insane._ That was what he said. Actually, no, that wasn't _all _he said. His exact words were, _You're as insane as he is. _He was talking about Cyrus. Looks like one of us isn't going to Mount Coronet after all. How Saturn could lose faith _now_, when we're so close, is absolutely beyond my understanding. What he said physically hurt me. He claimed he'd overheard Cyrus admitting that he's going to destroy all of us along with the old world – but I know who the liar is here.

But I'm not angry. After all, Saturn's sudden change of heart only means that I've got less competition now. It just proves that he was never as loyal as he claimed to be. That's why he can't understand what I'm doing. He even tried to stop me. He told me that I'm going to turn myself into a soulless zombie if I do this. I laughed. I'm the one holding the book; I already know what I'm doing. _Why the hell would you want to do that to yourself?_ he asked me, looking utterly terrified. I just smiled. _Because it's what he wants. _

There are two ways of looking at everything. Personally, I try to be optimistic. Cyrus isn't going to destroy the world. He's creating a new one. And I'm not about to destroy myself. I'm just making myself complete. Understand?

I'll admit one thing, though. I'm scared, too. I'm scared that Saturn might have been telling the truth. But if that's the case, I still support Cyrus wholeheartedly, because I know that he's worthy of his destiny, and keeping any of us around to share it would be an act of pure generosity on his part. If his generosity doesn't extend that far, then I only hope that, before I vanish with the rest of the world, he gets the chance to see what I've done, to know how _selfless_ I've been, to learn that I willingly purged myself of the spirit that he despises. If he goes alone into his new world with that memory, then that will be enough for me. Yes, I'm scared, but there isn't much time left for me to feel anything at all.

There's a blank page at the back of this book. This horrific myth is about to come to an end.

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'Only I kneel and kneel again, thy touch to win.  
Silence in Heaven. Silence on Earth. Silence within.'  
- Gustav Holst -_ The Heart Worships_ (Christian hymn)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** ...sorry about the lyrics; I know some people hate it when fanfic writers include them. That was just one of a few songs that inspired this fic and I wanted to acknowledge it. '^__^


End file.
